Youngsters today don’t know how to properly honk anymore. All they do is wave at you or cut you off or tailgate. But I promise, honking is a much more effective and satisfying means of communicating your emotions to other motorists. Not to mention the fact that it won’t drive up your insurance; no one ever got a ticket for honking. Here’s a short list of the basic honks with which you should familiarize yourself:
One Tap: This is the equivalent of “hey, here I am.” It’s a honk used to make someone aware of your position in space. I use this one when I’m driving around looking for a parking space and encounter a car backing up that doesn’t see me.
Two Tap: This is the “hey, how are you doing?” honk. This is a friendly honk. I do this one when I see someone I know and want to impress them with my honking skills. Though you must be certain to keep the Two Taps short and abrupt lest they be mistaken for the Medium Press.
Three Tap: This isn’t really a valid honk but I still hear it used sometimes. A three tap honk should be replaced by the two tap or the medium press, which ever one best fits the situation.
Medium Press: This honk borders on expressing anger or frustration and is probably my most used honk. If I encounter a person that obviously doesn’t know how to drive (i.e. putting on make-up while driving) but hasn’t offended me personally I’ll throw down a Medium Press honk.
Extended Press: This honk is clearly a sign of anger. While I personally don’t incorporate “sign language” with my honking, some people do. The “sign language” I see most commonly associated with the Extended Press is “The Bird” sign. If I get dangerously cut off or run off the road I’ll use the Extended Press.
Extended Press followed by a seizure-like mixture of any of the above, while using “sign language”: This honk communicates extreme dislike and frustration at another driver. In certain areas this honk is followed by someone pulling a gun. I’ve personally never crossed the line from Extended Press to EPFBCMOAOTAWUSL though I have seen other people do it.
So now that you’re equipped with the basic honks, I encourage you to use them wisely. But most of all, use them.
