This is the second time this winter that I’ve been sick and frankly, I’m sick of it. I can breathe through my nose just fine but it still insists on running no matter how much Sudafed I pack into my body. Nowadays, as you know, Sudafed is a controlled substance. You need a picture ID and a note from your doctor confirming a “legitimate medical need*” to buy it. But it’s not the only controlled product out there. Yesterday I went to the store to pick up some Advil Cold and Sinus along some “wife supplies” and got carded. I didn’t get carded for the Advil, mind you, but for the “supplies*.” Well, at least that’s what it seemed like because I was at one of those god-forsaken self checkout lanes and the Advil scanned fine but as soon as I scanned the “other things” the machine reached out*, grabbed me by the shirt* and said, “show me your ID, punk*.” Luckily I know Kung Fu* (I played a lot of Dead or Alive 3 in college) so I pulled a reversal* on the scanner. After a short scuffle* which ended with me giving in and showing my ID to the clerk I left the store with my dignity in tact because I had, after all, shown that scanner who was master of his domain*.
*this story may have some minor embellishments.
