Chuck Norris: the man, the myth, the legend. He fascinates me, and after reading this list I’ve put together from different sources you’ll be fascinated too…or else.
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.
- A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is Charles. Chuck Norris did not respond, he just stared at the man until he exploded.
- The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris—more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris—robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
- Chuck Norris once shot a Nazi plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Before the Boogie-Man goes to bed he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- According to the Laws of Physics, it is impossible for Chuck Norris to build more muscle. Upon realizing this, Chuck Norris swiftly roundhouse kicked every law of physics known to man, as well as those known only by Chuck Norris. He now has the ability to will his muscles to any level of strength he desires at any given time.





