I just got back home from vacation and after 12 hours 45 minutes of driving cross-country my mind is completely blown on caffeine and Mike & Ikes. Given that information you’ll understand that I’m just going to list off some very random things I learned on my summer vacation.
- Most Americans can’t drive. Or, at least, they don’t know they have a turning signal and they don’t know how to properly yield. Red Ford Bronco, I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU BUDDY! (muttering: freakin’ imbecile.)
- Toddlers are adorable things, until they’ve been locked in a car for 10 hours; then they turn suddenly and violently into little monsters. Note to self: point this startling discovery out to God when I see Him next.
- When an adult walks into an unfamiliar room full of people they think, “Look at all these amazing people I can talk to!”
- When a teenager walks into an unfamiliar room full of people they note the nearest dark corner where they plan to plant themselves with their ipod until the dreaded ordeal has passed.
- When a toddler walks into an unfamiliar room full of people they make mental notes of all the valuables. They then strategically plan a route around the room from which they can do the most possible damage to the property; all the while, of course, feigning cuteness to distract the adults away from their true purpose: total annihilation.
It’s good to be home!
