openswitch

If you recall, I’ve recently come into the possession of a Motorola ROKR. It’s a cool phone and I like it a lot. It was given to me by a friend of mine who no longer had a need for it. When he gave it to me he told me that he also had a bluetooth headset I could have as well, he just forgot it at his house. Well, on Saturday I saw him again and this time he brought the headset and helped me program the phone for it (which was super easy to do.)

It’s really a great device, especially as I’m driving in Atlanta traffic. Now I have both hands free so I can cut people off and shake my fist at them at the same time! Just kidding. But both hands really are free and that helps a lot when you’ve got a toddler in the car. Great device.

Do you remember The Borg from STNG? The idea behind The Borg is that they are a race of cyborgs who are part biological, part mechanical. One of the defining features of being a Borg is the fact that through a wireless interface each is always (read: 24/7/365) connected to every other Borg in existence. Each Borg literally can talk with every other Borg just by thinking. The wireless technology is built into their brains. Being a Borg is synonymous with being part of “The Collective.” Think of a hive of bees, then give them all a wireless headset and one green eye, that’s The Borg.

Keeping that imagery in mind, now consider the bluetooth wireless headset I just received from my over-generous friend. As great a device as it is I can’t help but feel like a Borg every time I wear it. It really is a natural progression though, isn’t it? Follow my train of thought:

• Think back millions of years, back to when cave-men wrought their living from sticks and stones. If a cave-wife wanted to check in on her cave-husband what were her options? Few, if any. She pretty much had to track the ol’ rascal down herself and tell him, “pick up some milk on the way home.” Well, it would have probably been more like, “uhgh, gruuuuunt.” But you get the picture.
• Then, a couple years later Alexander Graham Bell discovered the telephone by tying a key to a kite string with a cup on the end during a thunderstorm and placing it up to his ear. Presto! Now the cave-wife adoring wife can check in on her hubby any time she wants…so long as she is in the house by the phone and he is in a similar location by a phone. This is still far from a perfect solution but at least now she didn’t have to physically leave the residence to remind him to pick up milk on his way home.
• Then one day a yuppie took her home phone and plugged it into the cigarette lighter of her hubby’s car; resting the phone between the two front seats. This was the first car phone. Now she can check up on him any time she is in the house by a phone and he is either in a similar location by a phone OR in his car! Yeah, the phones were still the size of a briefcase but it was a move in the right direction; now she could remind him to pick up milk while he was on his way home.
• Then some guy, I think it was Al Gore, invented the first Cell Tower and made a cell phone to go with it. The phones were ugly and big and you couldn’t download Shakira’s new song as your ring tone but they served a good purpose. Now, hubby could take a phone with him everywhere he went, allowing his loving wife to check in on him at any point in time. Now, while he was in the grocery store picking up the milk she could call and remind him to get ice cream too. The only problem that now existed was the fact that when she called there was not an immediate response as he had to dig in his pocket, find the phone and flip it open. This took time, effort, and frankly was a little too difficult for the man.
• In steps the wireless headset. Created by a monkey in the San Diego Zoo, the first bluetooth headset came on the market and adoring, loving wives everywhere rejoiced! Now, with the right marketing, they could get their hubby’s to literally strap a cell phone (albeit in miniature form) to their ear. That way, the loving, adoring wives would virtually have 24/7/365 (i.e. Borg-like) access to their husband. They could now finally always be there, reminding them to pick up milk on their way home. The cave-woman’s quest was over.

I love my bluetooth headset.

You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word “milo,” which is mean “apple,” so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word “portokali,” which mean “orange.” So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit. - My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Kyle O’Brien from A Crazy One tends to see things a bit differently than I do. In a very non-literal sense he is like an apple and I’m like an orange; we’re both very different. But that never stops us from being kind, considerate and respectful to each other. In fact, we both seem to really like the disagreements and interaction that take place because of the friendly way in which we both discuss the issues. I think he and I both realize that in the end we’re both fruit, we have more in common than not.

In light of this understanding he and I have been corresponding via email for a little while now considering the idea of collaborating on a project that neither of us could do on our own. We’re starting up a new feature here which has the goal of taking one topic and each will write up a short-ish essay (every other week or so) stating our particular point of view on the topic, then both POVs will be posted side by side on our blogs. I have the feeling that this could be a great way to expand both our readerships to folks that normally wouldn’t give our blogs a second look. I also hope that it will stretch me personally to see things differently than I normally would. Who knows, perhaps I’ll even grow as a result!

** And this is where you come in **

Instead of choosing the topics to discuss on our own we want to get you, the readers, involved in the process. I’m not sure if we’ll be able to write about every topic suggested (due to potential volume) but I do promise that we’ll at least consider each one. So, have at it! What topics would you like to see us tackle?

I swear, if this crap isn’t gone by tomorrow I’m going to the doctor. Today I moped around all day feeling like there was a balloon being blown up behind my eyes. But this particular balloon had knives all over it, pointy side out. It’s definitely my sinuses but I don’t have a stuffy nose or any drainage at all. I do have a low-grade fever. That said, if the posts around here are lousy for a couple days that’s why. Blame my head. I go now to eat chicken soup.

Fridays are great. Last day of the week, time to party if you’re single, time to be a bum if you’re married. So relax, get ready for the weekend and have a laugh.

There is a sheet of rules that are handed out to kids when they turn two. This list is only given to toddlers and under no circumstances may an adult come in possession of it. We have received a stolen copy of this list; many people were traumatized by spaghetti to the face and ketchup on the new white carpet to be able to bring you this list of toddler rules. This post will self-delete once you finish reading it.

Toddler Rules

• If it is on, I must turn it off.
• If it is off, I must turn it on.
• If it is folded, I must unfold it.
• If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled. If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
• If it is high, it must be reached.
• If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
• If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
• If it has leaves, they must be picked.
• If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
• If it is not trash, it must be thrown away. If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
• If it is closed, it must be opened. If it does not open, it must be screamed at. If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
• If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
• If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied. If it is empty, it will be more interesting full. If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
• If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
• If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
• If Mommy’s (or daddy’s) hands are full, I must be carried.
• If Mommy (or daddy) is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
• If it is paper, it must be torn.
• If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
• If the volume is low, it must go high. If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor. If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
• If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth. If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
• If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
• If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor. If it is not food, it must be tasted. If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
• If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
• If it is Mommy, it must be hugged. I am toddler!

[via Crosswalk]

What other toddler rules have you discovered?

This article on CNN.com discussing how to read, and the importance of reading, with babies, toddlers and Kindergartners. Of all the stuff in the article there’s one phrase that sums it all up:

Babies aren’t going to treat books with care, and you don’t want to try to make them. So buy tough board books. This is not the age for cute pop-ups and easily torn paper.

I can’t even remember how many books Thomas has demolished. But I can’t get mad at him. First of all at least he’s enjoying the books; that’s an accomplishment in and of itself. Second, he becomes insanely cute as he destroys things. For instance, upon grabbing a page from a book with a clenched fist and pulling firmly on the page, violently rending it from the binding he will always follow up his action with a look of utter shock and, “Uh Oh!” As if it were a complete accident. If he could talk I imagine he would say something like, “Daddy, I was just reading this here book, and all of a sudden; you see this page here?” Dangles page in air for me to see “This page just JUMPED out of the book! Imagine that! I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself! Crazy.” How can you be mad at that?

[via Rebecca’s Pocket]

Simlar to a live reboot openswitch will be undergoing a live upgrade to the newest version of K2. The code is sweet and the javascript is small. Things may be a bit wonky for the next couple of days until I get everything squared away, but stick with it.

I don’t know if you’ve heard about it yet, but Steve Irwin just died of an injury from stingray barb. You’ll want to be on the lookout for more information from news sites as I’m sure they’ll have more information. Leaving behind a wife and 2 children he was a stand up guy. Constantly promoting conservation by any means necessary he will surely be missed and he leaves some very weighty shoes to fill.

UPDATE: Evidently he was pierced either in or near his heart, which is why he died from this injury. This is the third reported death from a stingray in Australia.

Just got my 9rules pins in the mail yesterday! If you want one for yourself they’re still available.