Tonight was bath night for Toddler Boy. Now, this may not quite register in your mind unless you have parented a toddler, but toddlers don’t need expensive toys to stay entertained. That’s right, it’s a little-known fact that toddlers don’t care if a toy cost $1 or $1,000. Their goal is to break it, and have a ball in the process.
In fact, it seems that an opposite scenario is in place. The age of the child is directly proportional to the price of the toy that will occupy them for the longest amount of time. That is to say, the younger a person is, the less money needs to be spent on them in order to keep them happy.
Toddler Boy, for instance, can be perfectly happy (indeed, thrilled) to be able to sit and play with ants. This is perfectly illustrated by the fact that for some reason the ants in and around our property are totally, and deeply, retarded. Most ants will feverishly seek out food. But not our ants. They seek out … showers.
I’m not sure what’s in there that they like so darn much but they’re attracted to showers like moths to a flame. This, as you can guess, is completely frustrating to me but is utterly exhilarating to Thomas because he now has little floating playmates during bath time.
But lest you think we’re sloppy people or dirty somehow, you should know that the vast vast majority of homes in the South have ant problems. It doesn’t matter how many ant traps you set out, nor how often the exterminator comes around (which gets expensive). If you live in the South you will have ants.
For adults this is a curse, ants are gross. But for toddlers everywhere you might as well have dropped them off and Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
