openswitch

When your friends start emailing you and calling you asking if everything’s OK because they haven’t seen you online in a while you can safely assume at least two things:

1. Your life is wired
2. You’ve got some good friends

In all seriousness though, things are going very well for the Gray family right now. Ministry is going well and it’s from this ministry that I’ve taken a week’s vacation to Chicago to visit my parents. I’ve been sleeping a lot, eating too much and spending lots of time with my parents and my brother.

A book?

I’ve decided to start a book. Not sure what exactly it will be about yet but I would really like to write something relating to ministers and/or churches. More likely than not (knowing myself and my passions) it will focus on new media and/or new models for organizing a church in this post postmodern culture. My brother hooked me up with an editor from InterVarsity Press who hopefully will help this project see realization. People have told me for a while that I should write a book. It’s also something that I’ve wanted badly to do and even tried to accomplish at one point or another. I’m looking forward to getting started on it when I get back home.

Vista impressions

In other news, my mom just bought a new computer (long overdue) and with it got Windows Vista. In fact, I’m using her computer right now. Vista is really very nice. It’s more intuitive than XP was and it includes just the right amount of eye candy. In all honesty, the visuals remind me a lot of my Ubuntu install on my computer which is running compiz. It’s got the nice shadows under the windows, nice fade in/fade out effects, and the font rendering is more Linux-like. I’ve heard some people say that Windows had these effects before Linux but I’m not sure of that. Can anyone confirm which OS had these composite effects first? I’m pretty sure it was OS X, then Linux then Windows jumped on board but I’m no techie. Please fill me in on this.

But IMHO Vista is a huge step up from XP. My mom has a much easier time with it than previous Windows versions. Makes me think back to the good ol’ days of Windows 95 and how “awesomely powerful” we all thought it was. Oh well.

It was an unexpected side effect of putting a tux sticker on my bike helmet. At worst I imagined that people would have one of two reactions: ignorance or indifference. But there was a third option which I had never accounted for: that some people would see the Linux mascot and think it was a Happy Feet penguin.

Now, I think Happy Feet was a great movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I thought it was full of great messages: be yourself, protect the environment, etc. But I didn’t like it to the point where I’d willingly ride around in public promoting it on my head.

But, evidently, that’s exactly what someone thought I would do today at lunch. I was sitting there with my helmet next to me and someone said, “Oh! I love the Happy Feet penguin!”

“That’s not Happy Feet, it’s Tux” I said.

A look of utter confusion splayed across their face.

“The Linux mascot.”

The light bulb went on. “Oh, is that a kind of computer program and that’s their logo?”

“More or less” I said as I went back to eating my Acapulco Cheese-steak.

I haven’t been riding my motorcycle for very long. Nor have I ever owned or even ridden on a Harley Davidson brand motorcycle. But that really doesn’t matter, I’m not here to talk about what bikes I have or have not sat my butt upon. I’m here to talk about marketing.

Even though I’ve never owned a Harley, they, and more interestingly, their riders, have a particular image they convey to me even as a ‘young’ rider. I want to talk a little about Harley marketing and then compare that to church marketing.

Harley Marketing

Harley Davidson motorcycles are, relative to the rest of the market, very expensive to purchase. They also have relatively expensive peripherals and accessories. Upon walking into a Harley Davidson dealership you’re struck with the fact that you can’t purchase any accessory for under $100. It’s truly an oddity.

Remember back in the late 80s when every kid had to own a pair of Nike Air Jordans? At the time they were ridiculously expensive for a pair of shoes. But they weren’t expensive because of their superior craftsmanship or their (supposed) ability to make white people jump higher. They were expensive because of the brand.

Now, I’m sure they were well made and perhaps there was some sort of psycho-somatic response in the wearer which resulted in him getting an added inch of air, but by and large they were just a shoe with the name “Nike Air Jordan” on them.

Today, men don’t blow cash on sneakers, they blow it on other things like boats, cars and motorcycles. But not just any motorcycle. It has to be a Harley. Why? Why are Harley’s ‘better’? What in them warrants the extra $5,000+ on the price tag?

Little, if anything. One could perhaps argue that they have more chrome, or they “look better” but I don’t buy into either argument. I think instead that Harley’s cost the amount of money they do because they carry a certain image. Turns out that Harley’s aren’t that much more expensive than other bikes but still are viewed as having a different image. But not just any image, a MACHO image.

Don’t believe me? I’m not the only one who thinks this way. Consider this quote from another bike rider. This author doesn’t own a Harley but has a close friend who does:

Harley Davidson is an example of exceptional marketing to the culture and values of aging baby boomers. A friend of mine, who owns a “Harley” and participates in some of the gatherings offered by the local dealership, describes the events as “costume parties for Hell’s Angels wannabes and those who dream about wilder days (theirs or somebody else’s).” Harley Davidson sells more than motorcycles, accessories, and apparel; they market an image. (From: Pursuing the Mission of God pg.5)

Harley Davidson has done exceedingly well at marketing to their target audience: men who want to appear macho. But churches have a much more difficult task because it doesn’t have just one target audience, it has multiple target audiences.

Church Marketing

For churches across America the market is changing. The group of people which the church desires to reach is growing increasingly diverse. In all the ways that matter today’s “church market” is completely different from the market even 20 years ago.

From my vantage point there seem to be at least two kinds of churches: The ones who try to market to all groups of people and the ones who try to market to only one group of people.

The first group, I think, is fooling themselves. A church can’t reach every possible demographic. There’s just no way to adequately reach out and effectively share the gospel to this vast array of people and backgrounds. The old axiom: “You can’t please everybody” is monumentally true. But even more than “pleasing” people you realistically can’t reach everyone with the gospel either.

The second group of churches, in my view, is correct. I think that as a result of our ever-diversifying culture we will see an ever-diversifying number of churches too. For example, the job market continues to grow more specialized. In the same way, churches will grow more specialized as well. Well, they’ll grow more specialized or they’ll die.

I predict that in the coming 20 years we will see more churches who cater to senior adults (especially with the growing number of baby boomers who are reaching retirement age.) We will also see more churches who focus on ministry to young people, and still more churches who focus on ministering to those for whom English is a second language. This trend, it seems to me, is inescapable.

What role will your church play in the coming decades? Will it be effective in reaching out to the lost and dying world around it or will it, in an attempt to please everyone, die a slow death, eventually closing its doors for good?

My challenge for the churches of today is to understand two things: 1) who your target audience is and 2) how to reach them in every way possible.

I’ve never been a terribly organized person. Some would say that I’m a “big picture” thinker, a vision caster. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had lots of trouble remembering things like dates (I forgot my own mom’s birthday 2 years in a row) and to-do items (I would forget about homework repeatedly in grade school). In short, my memory is not built for the details.

As I’ve grown up I’ve learned to accept this part of myself, though it was a terribly difficult thing to accept. For most of my life I’ve felt like a failure because I couldn’t remember the stuff that, seemingly, everyone else could. Things like names of people they just met or historical dates or even Bible verse references. Now, regarding Bible verses, I’ve always been a pro at remembering what the verse said, and was even better at realizing what the verse meant and the connection it had to other Bible passages. But for all that ability I still, to this very day, have a VERY difficult time remembering the reference of the passage. It’s as if all the numbers get jumbled in my head, I can’t keep them straight.

Last week I’ve had something of a revelation. For the past 20-odd years I’ve been fighting this part of me, trying to change it. But now, I think, I’ve realized that I very well may never be able to change my inability to remember life’s minutiae. Instead I will compensate for it. As a minister I must compensate for it.

Remembering administration duties

There are two things I’m doing to help me compensate for my lack of administration prowess. First, I’ve had a conversation with the church secretary asking her to not hesitate to page me and remind me about something may have told her I’d do but haven’t done yet. I didn’t ask her to be my personal assistant, but just to let me know if I told her I’d do something but haven’t done it yet. I explained to her that it’s rarely because I put it off, but because I genuinely forgot about it. Since she enjoys being a secretary it, by necessity, means that she’s a detail oriented person; something I’m definitely not. Our secretary is the best I’ve ever worked with and she was more than willing to help me in this area.

The second thing I’ve done is I’ve created a book that will contain all of my to-do items and project details. Writing stuff down is important for me. But even more important is making its storage simple. I’m not a big fan of day planners or palm pilots because it’s just too much clutter for me. I need simple, streamlined. After looking for such a planner and giving up, I decided to just make one myself (shown at right). What is pictured is just the cover (with some personal touches). The inside of the book is a simple table that allows me to enter a date, the items to do or project notes and then a column for the check marks as I complete each item.

As a minster it’s vitally important to stay on top of the details. True, it’s also important to be a visionary, a leader. But if you don’t remember to cross your t’s and dot your i’s you’ll find that things will start getting away from you and, more tragically, your visions won’t see fruition. Maybe you’re like me and you’re great at seeing the forest but struggle to see the trees. If this is you don’t beat yourself up. It’s normal and acceptable. You will, just like me, have to learn how to compensate for your weakness. If you’re interested in making a book like this you can download my to-do page template and make a book like mine for yourself. (Here’s the Microsoft Excel version of the document.)

Remembering names of people you just met

The problem of forgetting people’s names seems to be very common, at least in my experience. Thankfully the way to compensate for this weakness is rather simple two-part solution. When you meat someone for the first time you must begin immediately to try and associate their name with one of their physical attributes. “Cindy with the blonde hair” or “Frank with the big thumbs.” Sounds crazy I know, but it helps.

Then, as you’re talking with this person you trace with your finger their name on your thigh by your pocket over and over until the conversation is over. They won’t notice you’re doing it, I promise. This trick is what helps me the most. Something about ‘writing’ their name over and over again helps me remember it.

Conclusion

I guess the common thread holding this post together is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up for having a weakness or weaknesses. Self-punishment accomplishes nothing. Instead, begin working to compensate for them.

I was rummaging through my quote box today and found a couple of nuggets I wanted to share.

My quote box, by the way, is a box for 3×5 notecards. When I come across a great quote I write it on a 3×5 card, cite the source, and then file it alphabetically with those nifty plastic 3×5 file tabs. It’s a great practice to get into. Just remember to completely cite your source so if you use a quote in an essay or paper you won’t plagerize ;).

Both of these quotes are from Rick Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life.

Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you.

As a person is on their death bed, standing of the edge of eternity, they never say, “Bring me my diplomas! I want to look at them one more time. Show me my awards, my medals, that gold watch I was given.” When life on Earth is ending, people don’t surround themselves with things. What we want around us is people — people we love and have relationships with.

To take these quotes to a more personal level for bloggers, what importance do you put on your blog? Do you tend to neglect your family for your web site? Which will you want to have next to you when you’re dying? Will you say, “Bring me my laptop, I want to look at my cool blog one last time!” I think not. This week I challenge all the bloggers out there to make a concerted effort to spend more time with their families … myself included.

Nathan Smith of Godbit payed me the ultimate compliment and interviewed me recently. He posted the whole thing here. I fear I might have come across as a little condescending at points but then again, I might just be too critical of myself. Give it a read, Nathan asked some really good questions and I stayed true to form in giving rather long answers.

Recently in an effort to glean a little bit of detail from my youth group my wife and I handed out a questionnaire to all the students. The particular day that this survey was given there was an ordinarily small number of students present.

“Yes” you say, “and why are you publishing the results online?” Well, I have two purposes. First, some of the answers are cute. Second, I thought y’all might have a use for some of this information. Perhaps you just want to get a better idea of what students are ‘into’ these days, I don’t know. At any rate, the student number is inconsequential and a “—” indicates that no answer was given.

In cases where more than one answer was given I have separated the answers with a comma. If no comma is present in an answer then assume that though there is more than one word in the answer it is indeed one answer. Also, it’s worth noting that I haven’t corrected any of the student’s spelling.

“Prostitution describes sexual intercourse in exchange for remuneration.” _(source)

Full time ministerial staff, like whores, sell themselves. They let themselves be abused, bad-mouthed, and taken advantage of all for a few dollars. The main difference between whores and ministers, however, is that instead of selling their God-given bodies for the abuse of and/or enjoyment of others they’re selling their God-given gifts and lives for the same purpose.

Ministers are men and women with soft, sensitive hearts who only desire to see people get helped. Their motives (for the most part) are pure. Yet they all get taken advantage of, they all get voluntarily raped.

The longer I’m in full time ministry, the more I’m convinced that this analogy of a whore to a full time minister is an accurate one.

</rant>

Please share your thoughts.

This past weekend I got certified by the MSF (link) by taking a Motorcycle training course. Talk about great fun! Honestly, I can’t imagine getting on a bike without taking that course. I feel so much more confident and prepared than I ever could have been without the class.

I called my mechanic today and he said my bike should be ready some time next week. It feels like I’m a 9 year old kid again waiting for Christmas. Just can’t wait.

In other news, you’ve undoubtedly noticed that I’ve changed my blog design. This design is the one I had before my switch from WordPress to Textpattern. I missed it and this design ‘fits’ me well.

I’ve completed my archives page, thanks to the wondrous suparchive plugin for textpattern. For the time being I’ve somewhat organized it the same way as Godbit’s archive page. I sure hope Nathan doesn’t mind ;).

I’ve still got a bit of work to do on my other pages like the portfolio, freebies, contact, and links page. Those are all pretty much crap. And I’d like to write a little more on my about page. But that’s waaaay on the back burner right now.

Freebies section coming soon