Monthly Archives: November 2007

Two Kinds of People

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who work on their car and those who pay someone else to work on their car.

A little back story

I’ve always enjoyed working on my car. I’ve always liked getting in there, tweaking things, replacing worn out parts and yes, I’ve even broken my car a couple times due to my tweaking. But whether I broke my car (and subsequently fixed it) or not I always gained a greater appreciation for the vehicle as a whole.

Today I replaced my thermostat to hopefully remedy an overheating issue. If this doesn’t fix it then I’ll replace the water pump too. For those interested, here’s where a thermostat is located on a 1995 Chevy Monte Carlo 3.1.

thermostat-location

You’ve gotta take out the air filter housing, remove the throttle body, pull off a coolant hose or two, unbolt a metal pipe and then you can get to your thermostat. I’d love to get into the head of the engineers who designed this car. I also wonder what it’s like to engineer a car while on a crack-cocaine binge. But I digress.

Why people don’t work on their car

So yes, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who work on their car and those who pay someone else to. Now, the reason someone pays another person to work on their car can vary. Sometimes it’s because the part needing replaced requires extremely specialized tools. Such as when you replace an engine.

Other times people pay someone to work on their car because their time is worth more money working at making money than spending that same amount of time working on a car. By working on their car they wouldn’t be saving money, they’d actually be losing money.

Often the reason people don’t work on their car, I think, is because they are afraid of it. It’s magical and they don’t mess with magical crap. I’m not saying this is bad, I’m just explaining things.

Why people DO work on their car

Not everyone works on their own car for financial reasons. Some people work on their car because they enjoy taking things apart. They enjoy seeing how the parts work together to create a whole. They’re not afraid of the magic. They themselves want to wield the magic. And then, when other people say “I could never work on my own car” these people can relish in their magic-wielding.

I’m one of these people. I work on my car because I want to be a magic-wielder.

The parts vs. the whole

People view cars in different ways. I look at a car and I see all the components that make up the whole. I see the fuel delivery system, the ignition system, the exhaust, the steering, the braking, etc. A car, to me, is a collection of systems. Each of these systems could then be further broken down into smaller systems.

Sometimes these systems are directly related to each other. The fuel delivery system is directly related to the ignition system which is directly related to the exhaust system.

Other times systems are not related to each other directly but indirectly in that they’re both part of the car. The steering, for instance, is not related to the Air Conditioning system.

The most important part in working on your car is to understand how these systems work (at least in a general sense) and then how they relate to each other.

People who are afraid to work on their car often cannot or do not see the individual systems of the car. They look at a car and it’s just one thing. They conceptually understand that there are “systems” to this car but they do not understand the systems and furthermore do not understand how the systems relate to each other.

I’m convinced that anyone can work on a car. All they need to do is understand the systems.

How this relates to web design / development

You knew I was going to tie this in to web design, didn’t you? Like a car, a web site is made up of systems. And just like with cars there are two kinds of people: those who work on their web site and those who pay someone to work on it for them.

The similarities continue in the reasons why someone may or may not work on their own web site. But what’s important for the purposes of this article is that I work on my own web site because I enjoy it. I like understanding the systems, what they do and how they relate with each other. Not everyone enjoys this kind of thing and I can appreciate that.

My concluding thought is that anyone can work on their own web site. All it requires is a general knowledge of the different systems. I look at a web site and I see a collection of systems. Understanding those systems lets me change those systems and bend them to my will.

A person who doesn’t understand the systems sees this all as magic. They click a link, enter a URL and magically they’re presented with content.

I think that there will always be two kinds of people in this world. Those who can work on web sites and those pay someone to work on web sites. Magic-wielders and non-magic wielders.

I love being a magic-wielder.

How I Want My Ministry to Be

diamond-ring

The above quote is, doubtlessly, a common sentiment among brides and brides to be. Which man would, after all, even consider getting down on his knee to propose marriage and instead of pulling one diamond ring from his pocket he brings forth a bucket from behind his back filled with a thousand cheap pewter rings? Yet this seems to be the sentiment among many churches in America. Screw the quality of the disciples you create, we want MORE ATTENDEES.

It’s natural, after all, to look at the amount of people which attend a church as a sign of a successful ministry. It’s human nature to see a large crowd and assume success must be present. In the business world this — quite necessarily — is exactly how success is defined. How much profit (tithe) do you see? How much has your customer base (attendees, congregants) grown? Unlike the business world, however, insofar as Christian ministry is concerned, these are never indicators of success.

Were Jesus and His disciples concerned about sharing the Gospel of Christ with as many people as they could? Yes. Unabashedly, yes. However, it seems to me that they were concerned about creating quality disciples of Christ infinitely more than they were concerned about the sheer number of people they “converted.”

I see many churches in my area which are large in number. Lots of attendees. Yet I wonder, how many of those attendees will leave that fellowship over time and fall by the way side? How many, amongst the throng of people who flock to professionally orchestrated entertainment shows (a.k.a. Sunday morning church service), will follow Christ where ever He may lead? Few, I fear. Very few.

I would rather focus my energies on creating a few quality disciples, a few diamond rings, and see them all continue to live and grow in the Lord long after I’m dead and gone than spread my “ministry” out over a hundred people and see most of them live their lives as spiritually stunted hunks of pseudo-Christian metal.

A Tale of Two Open Letters

A lot of strong emotions have been flying around teh internets amongst religious bloggers regarding two open letters. The first letter is by Muslim leaders to Christians and then the second letter is a response to the first by a whole list of Christian leaders.

Much of what I’ve read regarding these letters is negative. Many people (rightly) point out that Christians and Muslims idea of God are very different in several key ways. One religion claims that Jesus was God, the other denies that and claims that Jesus, like Muhammad, was a prophet of God and nothing more. One religion claims that salvation is through faith in Christ alone, the other claims that salvation is acquired by other means.

However, having read over both letters in their entirety I really don’t get the impression that Christians are trying to claim that Islam is saying the same thing regarding salvation (which, I gather, is the crux of most complaints). Nor do I get the impression that Muslims are claiming that Christians view Muhammad the same way they do.

The impression I get from the letters is that both parties recognize that (apart from theologies like salvation) Christianity and Islam do indeed have certain things in common. Namely, the fact that both religions worship one God and that both religions preach (or should preach) love of thy neighbor. Note, that I did not claim that I believe Muslims worship the same God as Christians, just that they worship a singular God just as we do.

I see the letters as being a mutual desire in both camps to open up peaceful dialog between two religions. I do not see these letters as being an effort on anyone’s part to somehow “meld” the religions into one common belief system. These letters are both saying, “Hey, I know we have many different beliefs but we both commonly believe that we need to worship God and love our neighbors. Let’s love and respect each other instead of hating and killing each other.”

I think these letters are great. Hopefully efforts like this will lead to open, honest, peaceful dialog open between two parties which have historically hated each other with a bloody vengeance.

The Weakerthans - Reconstruction Site

album_art The band is The Weakerthans band the album is Reconstruction Site. As many of you know I’m always on the lookout for new, great music. This latest ‘discovery’ happened thanks to my Aunt Sharon. Just goes to show you that great music knows no age.

The Weakerthans are a small-ish band out of Winnipeg, Manitoba and their music is typically categorized as ‘folk rock’ or ‘indie rock’. Whatever you call it, it’s right up my alley.

They have several mp3’s for download on their site but the one that I like the most is Plea From a Cat Named Virtue (mp3). It’s fairly indicative off the overall feel of Reconstruction Site; intimate, emotional topics wrapped in an easy to swallow wrapper.

If you like Plea From a Cat Named Virtue you might as well just go ahead and buy the whole album, you’ll like it, I promise.

Christmas List ‘07

OK, so the reason for the season is obviously not massive consumerism, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a Christmas list, right? Well, here it is folks. My family has asked me to put a list together (they insist that I’m difficult to buy for) and I’m sure some of my friends are wondering what — if anything — to get me for Christmas. The list that follows is ordered by price, not necessarily desire. For example, I really love that t-shirt.

Also, don’t assume that this list is definitive or absolute. Look at it as a compass to my tastes, not a map.

Nintendo Wii

wiiOMG! Have you played one of these yet? I swear, just play it once and you’ll want one. We all know that it’s more fun than Xbox and definitely better than any PlayStation.

Unfortunately the Wii doesn’t come cheap. At around $549usd it’s easily the most expensive thing I want from Old Saint Nick.

Looks like you can get a Wii for $249.99 if you know where to look.

Drobo

droboWhen your livelihood depends on a computer and, more importantly, the digital contents of that computer it becomes increasingly important that your data be backed up. The Drobo makes this process super simple. It’s a little pricey for a backup system but the $499usd seems well worth the price to me.

You really need to watch the demo video as it explains just how freakin’ awesome this gadget is. The Drobo itself does not store any information. Basically, it manages up to four standard hard drives, storing your information there. Your storage is limited only by the size of hard drive you can get your hands on. Sweet.

Logitech Z-2300 computer speakers

speakersMy iMac is my entertainment center … so I need speakers to match. CNET rates these speakers very well and I like the way they look well enough. Probably not the most expensive speakers on the market (around $150usd) but at least they don’t look like a jellyfish.

Book: Bulletproof AJAX

bookBeing a self-taught web designer I’m always in search of new books and resources to push the limits of what I’m able to do. Bulletproof AJAX comes highly recommended from Nathan Smith and with Jeremy Keith as the author how can I go wrong? Plus, it’s only $23.09usd.

100-pack spindle of CDs

cdsEvery geek would like a 100-pack spindle of blank CDs. Or perhaps blank DVDs instead. I fly though these things… seriously. $21usd is all you have to pay to make a geek happy. Just do it.

They’re also great for bribing your local geek to work on your computer for free. For instance, if your new Dell with Vista preloaded on it won’t recognize the new camera you just bought you should first go get a spindle of CDs or DVDs (depending on the severity of your problem) and then slip them to your local geek while asking for help. Your chances of obtaining the help of said geek are much greater than if you asked them to do it for nothing.

T-shirt

shirtI love a good t-shirt. Specifically, this t-shirt. It’s a bit irreverent and is bound to ruffle some panties and get some feathers in a knot but maybe that’s why I like it.

Also, consider the conversation starter this would be at a party. Someone may look at it and say “that’s kind of irreverent, isn’t it?” And I would say, “Yeah, a little, but really think about it. What WOULDN’T Jesus do?

At $16.99usd this is the least expensive item on my wish list, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love it ;). BTW, I wear an XXL.

Incorporating hAtom Into Textpattern

microformats logoIn an effort to 1) bring this site up to speed and 2) learn a new skill set which will be of significant value to clients, I’ve incorporated the hAtom microformat into openswitch. w00t!

hAtom is simply this: the site feed is contained within the actual posts themselves. This is opposed to a separate feed such as openswitch.org/rss. It’s pretty cool stuff.

Microformats is a quickly developing trend on the Net which everyone involved in web design should be watching closely. But, this is old news. Chances are you’ve already heard of Microformats, if not used it yourself, so I’m not going to go evangelical on you now. What I will do is show you how I marked up my Textpattern posts with hAtom so they’re machine readable.

Here’s what I did, the process is really simple. I went and edited the form which is used when the <txp:article /> tag is called in a given page. In my case it’s the default form that I edited.

As per the specifications in the book Microformats — which Chris Harrison graciously gave to me — I marked up my default form like this:

<div class="hentry">
<h3 class="entry-title"><a href="<txp:permlink />" rel="bookmark"><txp:title /></a></h3>
<div class="entry-date"><abbr class="updated published" title="<txp:posted format="%Y%m%d" />"><txp:posted /></abbr></div>
<div class="entry-content">
<txp:body />
</div>
<div class="comments-invite">
<txp:comments_invite />
</div>
<div class="cats">
Filed under: <txp:category1 link="1" section="journal" />
</div>
<span class="vcard author"><a href="http://openswitch.org" rel="me" class="fn url"><txp:author /></a></span>
</div>

I’ve added in some spacing so you can see the divisions within the markup.

In order to write hAtom into your markup correctly you need four elements: the Root Element, the Entry-Title, the Updated/Published, and the Author.

The root element is this:

<div class="hfeed">
<div class="hentry">

Note that the hfeed class only has to be present once per page. Then the hentry class has to be wrapped around each individual post.

The entry title is written as an h3 tag:

<h3 class="entry-title"><txp:title /></h3>

The updated/published element is a combination of two microformats: the published date and the last updated date. But since with a blog these dates are (usually) the same it’s OK to combine them:

<abbr class="updated published" title="<txp:posted format="%Y%m%d" />"><txp:posted /></abbr>

The author element is included in all my posts but you’ll never see it unless you view the page source because it’s set to display:none; in the CSS:

<span class="vcard author"><a href="http://openswitch.org" rel="me" class="fn url"><txp:author /></a></span>

So that’s it. Now, if you’re running Textpattern you need to go implement hAtom into your blog.

Why Churches Struggle to Reach 20-Somethings

coach-bwI’ve been in full time ministry for five years. In that time I’ve met hundreds of pastors, and had the chance to sit down with probably a couple dozen to discuss ministry in detail. As we talk about the business of church life, inevitably the conversation turns to reaching young adults; adults in their mid to late teens through early to mid 20s. The majority of churches in America, we observe, are having a very difficult time reaching this age group. Why?

Several reasons for the difficulty, I feel, are touched on in this 60minutes piece titled The Millennials Are Coming. “Millennials”, a.k.a. 20-somethings, by and large, really are portrayed accurately in this piece. Even myself, being on the older-edge of this age group (I was born in ’79) find that I have a lot in common in terms of life and job expectations.

So, let’s talk a little about what 20-somethings expect from church and what we as ministers (or church leaders) can do to show Christ to a generation which is being largely neglected by churches across the nation.

They hate your coat and tie dress code

Millenials are ego-centric and do not want to “dress up” for church. To them it’s all facade, and they don’t want facade. They want real, and real comfortable. Does your church send the message that in order to worship, everyone has to be in a coat and tie or dress a certain way? Conversely, does you church encourage people to come as they are?

You can always tell what kind of dress code a church has by looking at the ministerial staff. Is the pastor in a coat and tie? How about the other ministers? If a church wants to reach out to Millennials they will do well to drop the coat and tie dress code.

Remember, they’re looking to get something out of your church. If, when they visit, they’re told (either explicitly or implicitly) that in order to worship they have dress a certain way, they will walk.

They don’t want to be told what to do

This Millennial generation does not like to be told “no.” If, as a church, you start telling them, “Do this, don’t do that, do this, don’t do that” they will leave. This does not imply that spiritual disciplines need to be thrown out the window however. What it means is that you need to present biblical truths and spiritual disciplines in a different way.

Instead of focusing on “do this, not that” perhaps try to explain the benefits of why they should do a certain thing. Instead of saying “don’t do that” it may help explaining the benefits of staying away from a certain thing. It’s almost like you have to package the message in a “happy wrapper.”

Millennials don’t want to hear the doom and gloom preaching of 30 years ago. They want to feel good about themselves, their faith and they want to know how to increase the “happiness factor” in their lives. Spiritual disciplines play a vital role in that happiness factor.

It’s about them, they’re the focus

This is similar to what some call the “consumer attitude,” though I argue that the ego-centrist mindset of Millennials is somewhat different from being a mere consumer.

I find that many churches seem to have staunchly positioned themselves in opposition to this ego-centrist view of life that Millennials have. It seems to me that many churches are preaching and practicing in such a way as to say, “Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for the church. If you’re coming here to get something out of church you’re in the wrong place.” When Millennials hear this message they’ll just leave. They know that there are a dozen other churches in the area they can go to who will give them what they’re looking for.

While it’s definitely true that Christians need to realize that they are a body and need to serve each other, churches simply cannot disregard — or worse, insult — Millennials’ desire to “get something out of” church. What is your church offering 20-somethings?

Conclusion: church as coach

Millennials are looking for coaching, not bossing. Churches should be able to easily grasp onto this concept. Millennials want to be praised. This, too, is something that churches should be able to easily do.

The church, as an institution, is set up perfectly to deliver exactly what this Millennial generation is looking for. Unfortunately, many churches are not reaching them. This is largely due to a ministerial method that hearkens back to 30+ years ago. The changes these churches must make are largely superficial. They need not change their theology or the basics of their faith, they need only change their methodology.

Church Buildings Often Breed Complacency

church-buildingI’m sitting here reading a “Community Assessment Profile” packet that my boss gave me. It was prepared by Tom Crites of Research Services of the Georgia Baptist Convention. It’s basically a collection of a lot of numbers and statistics, displayed different ways in order to highlight certain trends in the community in which our church exists.

It’s got some pretty cool bar graphs that show statistical information of age, race, housing situation, income and several other criteria. The packet’s use is to help church staff decide on how and what kind of strategy they’ll use to reach their community.

Much of what Tom says in this packet sounds like generic Christian pat-answers. But then I see this gem of a quote:

The Great Commission commands us to go! Building structures as an evangelical strategy for reaching people for the kingdom [of God] has some flaws because newer and larger facilities often breed complacency among Christians. Also, the idea of “if you build it they will come” rarely holds true with unbelievers, unchurched and the de-churched. If the facilities where you worship are either intimidating to people or insufficient for drawing in the community, then you must go to where they are. The church (structure) ought to serve as a training grounds for the real ministry that needs to take place when the church (people) walks out the doors each week.

Tom Crites

So true. Will thinking like this eventually change the church (building) landscape in the U.S.? I wonder.

Pilgrims and Idiots

indianToddler Boy is in pre-school for three days a week, three hours each day. Pretty low intensity stuff. The wifest is one of the teachers so Toddler Boy is never far from mommy.

Toddler Boy’s teacher (not mommy, but another lady) has taught her class a new Thanksgiving song called, I assume, “Pilgrims and Indians.” Really cute song. It goes something like this:

Pilgrims and Indians working together

working together

working together

Pilgrims and Indians fishing together

fishing together

fishing together

Pilgrims and Indians worked in the garden

worked in the garden

worked in the garden

etc, etc, etc …

Historically it’s not terribly accurate because what really happened was more like “Pilgrims and Indians warring together, warring together, warring together.” And then somewhere, possibly during the bridge, the Pilgrims forcefully remove said Indians from their land and then somehow convince themselves that the Indians were asking for it. But I digress, the song is cute.

Furthermore, Toddler Boy makes this song especially cute because he has trouble pronouncing his N’s so “Indians” comes out “Idiots”. Cute, right? Yeah, but the best part is he likes to dress up like an Idiot, complete with feather-laden headband and “animal skin” t-shirt. He’ll then run around the house yelling, “Look, I’m an Idiot!”

Oddly enough, he can pronounce his N’s just fine when he’s telling us “No!” Go figure.

I really need to get a video camera so I can show this stuff to his first girlfriend.

Three for the Show

I went to a show (concert to you old people) last night at the Roxy theater in downtown Atlanta. It’s a small to mid-size venue that provides for fairly intimate performances. An old theater that has been converted into a concert hall … a very cool atmosphere.

I took some of the high school students to this concert at their request (and they bought my ticket. w00t!) so that accounts for the ‘teen-ness’ of the band itself. The headliner on the ticket was Family Force 5. They’re a band out of Marietta Georgia, a suburb of Atlanta. Musically they are pop, synth, screaming power music but I like ‘em … a lot.

Family Force 5 is one of the few bands I’d recommend to a friend regardless of said friend’s musical taste. It’s fun music, pop, shallow, high energy, … just fun. The energy of the music is matched perfectly with the energy of the band on stage. Great show.

Two bands opened for Family Force 5: The Secret Handshake and Jonezetta.

The Secret Handshake was great techno/dance music. The lead did a great job of getting people moving. Excellent talent there. Reminiscent of hellogoodbye so it definitely tickled my ear. BTW, if you don’t know hellogoodbye you should check ‘em out.

I had never heard of Jonezetta before last night but I’m glad I know about them now, excellent band. Fully excellent. I just bought some of their songs off iTunes. They had a Killers-meets-The Ramones feel … at least in concert. Great stage presence, just rockin’ out. Highly recommended if you’re into indie rock.

Overall, a great concert, from openers to the main event.

Would You Change Your Whole Belief System?

Yesterday at youth group the students asked (again) if we could have a “Real Talk” session. Real Talk is something I do with my high school students about once a month. When I forget a month the students make sure I know about their displeasure, they really like it.

Real Talk is simply an open forum for discussion. I hand out blank note cards and pens. Each student (if they desire) writes out an anonymous question. I pass a bucket around and then pull out one question at a time and answer it according to my best knowledge.

The youth group has a dynamic such that we all take this exercise seriously and no one is demeaned for asking a “silly” question. I also make a point of shooting straight with my answers. I don’t beat around the bush — mostly because there’s not enough time to beat around said bush.

Well, yesterday one of the students wrote a very interesting question: “Do you have an open mind about other religions?” The question was basically asking me, “If you found ample evidence that Mormonism or Atheism were more true than Christianity, would you convert?” I said, unhesitatingly, “yes.”

More than a couple students looked at me with wide-eyed wonder. It was as if they were dumbfounded that their pastor would ever consider converting to another religion. I knew I had to follow up my “yes” answer with a bit of explanation. Here’s basically what I told them.

In my mind, there’s a certain level of intellectual honesty I must have with myself. If I come at any belief system with the presupposition that “this is the truth no matter what evidence may surface” or, conversely, “this is a falsehood no matter what the evidence may suggest” I’m committing intellectual espionage.

Honestly, I have to look at other religions and/or belief systems with an open mind. I wish I could say that I do have a completely open mind about Christianity — or anything else for that matter. But the fact remains that I’m biased, and so are you. I’m biased largely because of my upbringing. I’m also biased because life isn’t long enough to go and fully explore every belief system on Earth.

I think we first have to admit and own that bias. Then we can begin looking at other ideas with a little more honesty.

But back to me converting to another religion. Could it happen? I like to think that I’m honest enough with myself to say “Yes, I’d convert if faced with ample evidence.” But it’s hard to say that for sure.

What about you? Would you convert to a completely different belief set if faced with ample evidence?

Oxymorons

I needed something to pick me up today. Kinda having ‘one of those days’ if you know what I mean. Anyway, here are some great oxymorons (thanks mom!)

death-valley

  1. Act naturally
  2. Found missing
  3. Resident alien
  4. Advanced BASIC
  5. Genuine imitation
  6. Airline Cuisine
  7. Good grief
  8. Same difference
  9. Almost exactly
  10. Government organization
  11. Sanitary landfill
  12. Alone together
  13. Legally drunk
  14. Silent scream
  15. British fashion
  16. Living dead
  17. Small crowd
  18. Business ethics
  19. Soft rock
  20. Butt Head
  21. Military Intelligence
  22. Software documentation
  23. New York hospitality
  24. New classic
  25. Sweet sorrow
  26. Childproof
  27. “Now, then …”
  28. Synthetic natural gas
  29. Christian Scientists
  30. Passive aggression
  31. Taped live
  32. Clearly misunderstood
  33. Peace force
  34. Extinct Life
  35. Temporary tax increase
  36. Computer jock
  37. Plastic glasses
  38. Terribly pleased
  39. Computer security
  40. Political science
  41. Tight slacks
  42. Definite maybe
  43. Pretty ugly
  44. Twelve-ounce pound cake
  45. Diet ice cream
  46. Idiot-proof
  47. Working vacation
  48. Exact estimate
  49. Religious tolerance
  50. Microsoft Works

I Hate Flying

I flew today … in a plane. Can you hear my groaning from your computer chair? I used to enjoy flying, but not anymore. Between the virtual strip searches — what’s next, body cavity searches? Shhh, don’t give them any ideas — and the confiscation of my personal effects I detest flying.

Confiscation? Yes. I flew to my parent’s house for the weekend to attend my grandfather’s funeral/memorial service. I left in a hurry so I just threw some stuff in a carry-on bag and off I went. Well, it turns out you can’t just throw toiletries in your carry-on bag.

As I was going through the metal detector, enduring the police-style manual body search and me taking off everything but my pants and shirt, one of the TSA officers opened up my carry-on and asked me to name all my toiletries.

This was asked me as I was threading my belt through the loops while hobbling forward to put my shoes on and I forgot to mention my shaving cream and hair putty. I did remember my deodorant … so I could keep that. But since I didn’t mention my hair stuff or my shaving cream they kept that. Freakin’ … mumble mumble mumble.

Actually, I could have kept both of those effects … if I wanted to go back to the ticket counter, purchase a $1 baggy, put my stuff in it and then wait another 30 minutes in line to be strip searched again.

I declined.

Truth be told, it’s somewhat comforting to me knowing that such extreme measures are being taken to ensure my personal safety. But said measures have ruined the whole experience.

I hate flying.

Mel Brooks FTW

I know, I’m a little late to the Mel Brooks fan club but I’m here and that’s all that matters. Up until a couple days ago I had never seen a Mel Brooks film. I’d heard about them and even seen snippets of them on YouTube (yay copyright infringement!). But now I’m a fan.

Blazing Saddles

The first film I saw this weekend was Blazing Saddles. I’m 28 years old and I’ve never seen this movie … hard to believe, I know. In one viewing this film quite effortlessly muscled its way to the top of my favorites list.

How can you not love this movie? Well, OK, maybe the excessive use of the word “nigger”, “shit” and “faggot” will turn you off. Or maybe it’s the lascivious sexual references. I can understand that.

You know, I can see how a homosexual or a black person would be offended by those words. I certainly would be if that were my heritage or lifestyle. But the odd thing is this: as I was watching Blazing Saddles, and I’d see these white guys using these words I felt that the film was directly making fun of ignorant white people more than those of other races or sexual orientations. Maybe it’s just me … I don’t know.

At any rate, I thought the film was ingenious. It would never be produced today though. The best quote of the movie was when the black Sheriff said to the KKK members, “Where all the white women at?”

The Producers

There’s just something about a middle-aged fat man seducing elderly women for their money that’s amusing. I don’t know what it is. That facet alone makes The Producers) hilarious to me.

It’s not as “in your face” with the insulting references but it’s still definitely a Mel Brooks flick. L.S.D. made this movie great for me. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’ll just have to rent the movie for yourself. You’ll see what I mean.

I’ve never watched many movies with Gene Wilder in them. I think Willy Wonka was the last role I saw him play. But due to The Producers and Blazing Saddles he’s become one of my favorite actors. Is it me or does Nicholas Cage’s acting style remind you of Gene Wilder?

So at any rate, yeah, Mel Brooks FTW.

Why I Love Textpattern

As most of my regulars have noted (or perhaps not), with the most recent redesign of openswitch came the ‘switch’ back to Textpattern for the CMS as the engine which drives this site. Why, oh, why do I keep switching back to Textpattern, you ask? Why don’t I just stick with WordPress? Those are the questions I’m going to try my best to answer in this article.

First a disclaimer

WordPress really is a fantastic CMS. It’s got a large, excited and talented community surrounding it as well as a seemingly endless supply of plugins. I really do think WordPress is great, there’s no way I can bash this CMS. I will continue to recommend WordPress to those people for whom it is best-suited. I will also continue to develop for, and be active in, the WordPress community.

Whew, that was a mouthful.

What annoys me about WordPress

With all that said about WordPress there are certain things that really annoy me about the CMS. The first thing is the loop.

1. The loop

The loop isn’t that hard to understand. Well, at first it is, but as most WordPress veterans will tell you it’s a very straightforward concept. Here’s what the loop looks like:

<?php if (have_posts()) : ?>
<?php while (have_posts()) : the_post(); ?>
[: POST CONTENT GOES HERE :]
<?php endwhile; ?>
<?php else : ?>
<?php endif; ?>

Not that bad, right? Of course, this is a VERY stripped down version of the loop. Normal loops will have a lot of other code where the post content goes. The part where the post content goes will be (appropriately) looped over and over again. Then when there’s nothing left to loop, or the loop number limit has been reached, it will display whatever is directly after the tag such as some navigation links at the bottom of a blog for “newer posts” and “older posts”.

Edit: It was pointed out by Jan on this post that the first and last line of the loop code could be removed. I guess I learn something new all the time ;). Still, this just goes to further my case that WordPress is a complicated CMS. I’ve been working with it for 2 years and still didn’t know something that (evidently) is pretty basic.

Honestly, I’m probably leaving some crap out. There’s A LOT to the loop. Also, there’s A LOT you can do with it. You just need to know (or learn) a little basic PHP.

2. Spam

We all know that about 98% of trackbacks are spam. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that the amount of comment spam on the Net is equally high. The problem is this: on the Net there are two systems for delivering content: Pull and Push.

Email, for instance, is a Push system. You don’t go out and find email, it comes to you. You then have to somehow decide which email you want and which you don’t. Unfortunately spammers have caught on to this and that’s why you need massive spam filters on your email inbox.

The rest of the Net, by and large, is a Pull system. You have to go and find information. You are reading my article because you navigated here on your own. Granted, it may have been sent to you via a feed reader but you still managed to subscribe to that feed by your own volition. You voluntarily pulled this content.

Now, from a blog owners POV comments are a Push system. Readers come and leave their own content below my content. I don’t go and get their content, it comes here to this blog.

Comment spam used to be a huge problem amongst bloggers. For many blogs today it’s really not a huge issue thanks to spam protection like the wonderful Akismet and a whole gamut of other, equally great spam tools which has effectively cut comment spam to a minimum.

Other blogs use CAPTCHA’s and such to weed out the legitimate comments from the spam.

If you use WordPress and you don’t use some anti-spam software you’re screwed. I hate that.

3. Versioning

It seems like WordPress is coming out with a new “mandatory” upgrade every other month, and that’s very annoying. It seems there is an endless number of “security” bugs that need to be squashed. Using WordPress makes me feel like I’m using Beta software due to the sheer number of bug fixes.

4. PHP

What WordPress doesn’t seem to grasp is that not everyone has the time or the inclination to sit down and learn PHP. If you plan on doing much in the way of creating your own WordPress theme you will inevitably have to learn PHP … or you’ll have to go to the Codex and cut and paste PHP from there.

Some of you reading this article love dealing with scripting and/or programming languages. But not me. I hate it. It’s a drag.

What I love about WordPress

OK, not everything about WordPress is frustrating. There are some things that I love about the CMS. I love the way it’s super easy to create pages. Creating pages in Textpattern involves at least one more step than WordPress.

I also love the sheer number of really fun plugins. There are TONS of them! Holy Crap!

What annoys me about Textpattern

You’ll notice that this section of things which annoy me about Textpattern is significantly shorter than the things that annoy me about WordPress.

1. Templating system

Textpattern’s templating system is (almost) as frustrating as WordPress’s comment/trackback spam issue. To create a Textpattern theme you have to go into your admin panel and individually copy and paste each page, each form and the stylesheet(s) into its own .txt file. Then you go and give those files to someone else who takes them and one by one copies and pastes them into their own Textpattern installation.

It can get really frustrating. Compare this to the templating system in WordPress and it’s clear why this annoys me about Textpattern.

This information is incorrect. If you use the Textpattern plugin called hcg_templates you can import and export themes with all the ease of WordPress.

I guess this means there’s nothing that annoys me about Textpattern. :D

What I love about Textpattern

This list is immense. So I’m going to trim it down to just those things I love most about Textpattern.

1. Granular control

I love how Textpattern gives you granular control over SO MUCH. I control what content is included in the feed and what isn’t. I granularly control permalink structure, pages, comments, everything.

Coming from a background in WordPress I found the granularity of Textpattern to be borderline frustrating at first because I was used to WordPress making and/or limiting those decisions for me. But now I find WordPress to be limiting almost to the point of stifling me.

Of course, these limitations really aren’t limitations if you are good with PHP. But this, as I’ve stated, annoys me.

2. Lack of comment spam

It’s a fact, Textpattern sites rarely get comment spam. Virtually the only type of comment spam they get are from human spammers … and even this is rare.

3. Textpattern’s loop

Textpattern’s loop looks like this (cf. WordPress’s loop):

<txp:article />

Wow, that’s simple. Note too the XHTML-like semantic structure of the self-closing tag. All Textpattern tags have that XHTML-like structure. I love that.

The tag does everything the WordPress loop does. I can limit the number of articles looped: <txp:article limit=“14” />. I can loop articles only with certain keywords: <txp:article keywords=“comma-separated keywords” /> and a dozen other things.

If that’s not enough you can expand the <txp:article /> functionality with <txp:article_custom />. With that tag you can loop articles based on ID, Category, Section, Time, Month, Author, or any number of other criteria. It’s a beautiful thing.

Textpattern tags in general make site creation a breeze. I lose no functionality over WordPress (in fact I gain functionality) and now instead of hacking my way through PHP I’m using easy to read and understand template tags.

4. Tag creation help

Still, it can be a little confusing for a new Textpattern user as to what tags do what and which options are available for which tags. That leads me to my next love of Textpattern: template tag help.

tag-help As you can see from this screenshot at right (click to view full size), any time you’re editing your code you have this template tag help to your left which will create any template tag you need, with all the options you want. The phrase “PHENOMENAL IDEA” doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about this feature.

5. Features included out of the box

There is more functionality with Textpattern out of the box than with WordPress. Things like Recent comments, Related Posts and Breadcrumbs are all included OTB.

One thing that needs to be included out of the box is a comments feed. There’s a plugin for it but I think it’s used often enough to warrant inclusion in the core functionality of Textpattern.

6. Server load

I’ve been watching my GPU usage as I’ve switched to textpattern from WordPress and here’s what I’ve seen (click image to view full size):

gpus

As you can see, on November 7th, when I switched back to Textpattern, my GPU usaged dropped by about half … and it is staying that way. The GPU usage prior to November 7th is reflective of my site running WordPress with wp-cache enabled. Traffic has remained constant throughout the shown time span.

As is plainly evident by this graph, for openswitch, running Textpattern puts about half as much strain on the server as WordPress.

Conclusion

The best thing WordPress has going for it is Sandbox. That, my friends, is why recently I was caught using WordPress for a tumblelog. If you want to create a tumblelog then WordPress + Sandbox is BY FAR the easiest way of doing so.

However, I’ve finally decided that as things stand right now, Textpattern is definitely a more robust CMS than WordPress and except in the case of a tumblelog, is really a much better option than WordPress … even for standard blogging.

Top it off with the fact that the book Textpattern Solutions is available (a copy of which Nathan Smith graciously sent me) it’s easier than ever to start learning and using Textpattern, I can’t recommend this CMS highly enough.

In Which My Grandpa Passes

dad16 It feels odd not having a grandpa anymore. He passed away two days ago and yesterday I found myself catching a plane to Chicago to be with my family (you need family in times like this). He was a great man, someone I looked up to if for no other reason than the fact that he lived through the depression, WWII and so many other hardships and still remained a kind, gentle man.

He was a rock of a man. Stable, strong, a foundation on which my family often found itself leaning. I never saw him lose his temper, but often saw him share his love.

He committed himself to loving his family, and that’s how I remember him. A man which no matter what was happening in the World always had a funny joke, always had a $5 bill for his grandchildren and always pulled for the Cubbies to (hopefully) win a World Series … even though it never happened.

I’ll always remember you grandpa. And one day I hope to see you again.

Temper Tantrums and Tomato Paste

OK, I need some help from you parents out there. Here’s the situation: my son, now three and a half years old, is at that stage of life where when he sees something in a store and can’t get it he will throw himself on the floor and scream.

Mind you, this child is not spoiled. Money is tight for our family so Toddler Boy is used to hearing the word “no.”

So my dilemma is this. I would like to discipline him in some fashion but I’m afraid to do anything for fear of someone calling the DCFS and then arresting me for child abuse (either real or perceived).

What do you do when your child is throwing a tantrum? Just ignore it? After all, it’s obviously just a ploy for attention. Yeah, ignoring would definitely be the more “common sense” approach but believe me it’s NOT easy to ignore a screaming toddler.

And even if you can ignore your own child it’ll prove even more difficult to ignore the stares of the other customers. As your child is writhing on the floor like a feral cat in heat they all have the look on their faces that seems to say, “Why doesn’t that horrible parent DO something?!”. Then they throw a can of tomato paste at your head. — OK, I made that last part up. —

But really, what can you do? I seek the advice of the almighty Internet.

Another Day, Another Redesign

Don’t fret. I’ve still got the previous design for anyone who wants it. ;) I’ll be cleaning up the code and releasing it in the not-so-far-and-distant-future.

There are still a few bugs to squash with this design, hopefully it won’t take too terribly long. The biggest one right now is styling the comment form. Unfortunately I’m just completely swamped with work so that’ll probably have to wait for a little while. Hope you don’t mind.

You shouldn’t notice any hiccups in the feed, if you do please let me know.

Some goals of mine were:

  1. Looks good at any screen resolution
  2. Minimalistic design
  3. Front page is a kind of hub for the rest of the site

I think for the most part these goals have been accomplished.

Accurately Describing a Generation of Christians Is Tough

Describing young Christians is a difficult maneuver, but I do think it can be done. In my opinion, this Slate article by David Sessions is one of the better descriptions of my generation I’ve come across. The article starts out as a response to a piece in Times Magazine that suggests the religious right is failing as a political force. I’m not as savvy on politics as many others are so I’ll leave the political commentary to them.

David then quickly shifts gears and what follows is a startlingly accurate (in my opinion) portrayal of young Christians in America.

“Young Christians indeed have a more redemptive view of society, rejecting the notion that America is slouching toward Gomorrah and must be warned regularly and loudly. They are interested in making society a better place in the here and now, as opposed to simply converting the lost.” … “Young Christians are interested in more than “two or three issues,” as left-leaning pastor Bill Hybels contends in the Times piece, but they are smart, educated, and usually swing conservative for reasons much deeper than the Big Two (abortion and gay rights).”

Reading the piece linked above brought me realize there is likely a good explanation why I find myself repeatedly frustrated when discussing politics or “church” with older generations. It’s more than a different take on the surface issues; it goes deeper than that. The way I view politics and/or “church” vs. how the Boomers or Builders do begins to touch at some very basic conceptions regarding Christianity.

What we’re seeing here is two generations who have different views of Christianity and the World at large. But these differences shouldn’t surprise us. This kind of fissure between generations has almost become part and parcel with growing up in America (c.f. the 1960s). I have no doubt that my son will view things drastically different than I do … and that’s a good thing.

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Generally speaking I won’t post anything I receive via email on this site. But this one was just too funny not to post. Enjoy.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

George Bush

We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

Al Gore

I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Ralph Nader

The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

Pat Buchanan

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Rush Limbaugh

I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

Martha Stewart

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Jerry Falwell

Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.”

Dr. Seuss

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

Ernest Hemingway

To die. In the rain. Alone.

Martin Luther King Jr.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa

In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Barbara Walters

Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

John Lennon

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

Aristotle

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx

It was a historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Voltaire

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

Ronald Reagan

What chicken?

Captain Kirk

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Sigmund Freud

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Albert Einstein

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

The Bible

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Colonel Sanders

I missed one?

Archives

2008: 01  02  03  04  05  06  07
2007: 01  02  03  04  05  06  07  08  09  10  11  12
2006: 01  02  03  04  05  06  07  08  09  10  11  12
2005: 11  12