I’ve been in full time ministry for five years. In that time I’ve met hundreds of pastors, and had the chance to sit down with probably a couple dozen to discuss ministry in detail. As we talk about the business of church life, inevitably the conversation turns to reaching young adults; adults in their mid to late teens through early to mid 20s. The majority of churches in America, we observe, are having a very difficult time reaching this age group. Why?
Several reasons for the difficulty, I feel, are touched on in this 60minutes piece titled The Millennials Are Coming. “Millennials”, a.k.a. 20-somethings, by and large, really are portrayed accurately in this piece. Even myself, being on the older-edge of this age group (I was born in ’79) find that I have a lot in common in terms of life and job expectations.
So, let’s talk a little about what 20-somethings expect from church and what we as ministers (or church leaders) can do to show Christ to a generation which is being largely neglected by churches across the nation.
They hate your coat and tie dress code
Millenials are ego-centric and do not want to “dress up” for church. To them it’s all facade, and they don’t want facade. They want real, and real comfortable. Does your church send the message that in order to worship, everyone has to be in a coat and tie or dress a certain way? Conversely, does you church encourage people to come as they are?
You can always tell what kind of dress code a church has by looking at the ministerial staff. Is the pastor in a coat and tie? How about the other ministers? If a church wants to reach out to Millennials they will do well to drop the coat and tie dress code.
Remember, they’re looking to get something out of your church. If, when they visit, they’re told (either explicitly or implicitly) that in order to worship they have dress a certain way, they will walk.
They don’t want to be told what to do
This Millennial generation does not like to be told “no.” If, as a church, you start telling them, “Do this, don’t do that, do this, don’t do that” they will leave. This does not imply that spiritual disciplines need to be thrown out the window however. What it means is that you need to present biblical truths and spiritual disciplines in a different way.
Instead of focusing on “do this, not that” perhaps try to explain the benefits of why they should do a certain thing. Instead of saying “don’t do that” it may help explaining the benefits of staying away from a certain thing. It’s almost like you have to package the message in a “happy wrapper.”
Millennials don’t want to hear the doom and gloom preaching of 30 years ago. They want to feel good about themselves, their faith and they want to know how to increase the “happiness factor” in their lives. Spiritual disciplines play a vital role in that happiness factor.
It’s about them, they’re the focus
This is similar to what some call the “consumer attitude,” though I argue that the ego-centrist mindset of Millennials is somewhat different from being a mere consumer.
I find that many churches seem to have staunchly positioned themselves in opposition to this ego-centrist view of life that Millennials have. It seems to me that many churches are preaching and practicing in such a way as to say, “Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for the church. If you’re coming here to get something out of church you’re in the wrong place.” When Millennials hear this message they’ll just leave. They know that there are a dozen other churches in the area they can go to who will give them what they’re looking for.
While it’s definitely true that Christians need to realize that they are a body and need to serve each other, churches simply cannot disregard — or worse, insult — Millennials’ desire to “get something out of” church. What is your church offering 20-somethings?
Conclusion: church as coach
Millennials are looking for coaching, not bossing. Churches should be able to easily grasp onto this concept. Millennials want to be praised. This, too, is something that churches should be able to easily do.
The church, as an institution, is set up perfectly to deliver exactly what this Millennial generation is looking for. Unfortunately, many churches are not reaching them. This is largely due to a ministerial method that hearkens back to 30+ years ago. The changes these churches must make are largely superficial. They need not change their theology or the basics of their faith, they need only change their methodology.
9 Comments
Another interesting article, I think we need to be careful on your point about “It
I don’t see why it can’t be a both/and. Why can’t a church strive to meet the felt needs of the “consumer” and still share God’s love with them? In my mind we’re saying the same thing: that we just need to restructure and re-strategize the way the church functions in order to maintain the task of making disciples of all people.
I love your thoughts here. I agree that coaching is the key! I am a bit older than 20s and find that because my gifting is coaching that I do not lack for younger ministry people being around me or relating. A coach will cheer you on and challenge you. I think that combo works, rather than making clones.
I read that article too… and while I agree that many people in my age bracket or generation are that way, I personally feel a little different. I can identify with it, but know that my work ethic and approach to tradition are different than some other people my age.
I think you’re right about how a church should try to reach out more to this age group. We seem to be the “lost generation” at church. And it does seem to be more of a both/and as you put it… don’t set aside principles and foundations of faith, but don’t approach them in the same way you have before. the sign of a good teacher is how they can adapt their style so that their students get just what they need from what they’re teaching. Fairness is not “everybody getting the same thing” but rather “everyone getting what they need”.
I think Paul would have been good at this.
@Rich: I like how you put it, “cheer you on and challenge you.”
@Anna: Yeah, I agree. I also find that my work ethic is a little different than other 20-somethings. However, I’m also a little older than this age bracket … if only by a year.
I also agree with you Ben, mostly. At 25, I find myself in a similar boat to you Ben, but maybe I am just a tiny bit closer :). Not quite old yet! However, I would disagree with the idea we are “ego-centric” because it seems a tad too negative to me. I would say we are far more existentialist. That seems more appropriate to me. S
Just wait, Rhett. 30 is right around the corner
Coming from the Millenial generation, I would also add the Millenials are self-directed. Church leaders need to be aware that their Sunday sermons and small group materials are “competing” with podcasts, blogs, e-mails, books, iPods, other churches, online fellowships, TV pundits — and that’s just the theological stuff. Forget the X-Boxes and the IM chats.
So, rather than expect that life revolves around the little localized box called “church”, a church needs to view itself as a training center for how to “do life” out there in all the other boxes. In other words, it’s not a “here’s what you should do” message as it is a “here’s how you can do what you’re doing better” message. Like you said, that’s coaching, not bossing.
I think it was a recent Barna study that concluded that Millenials want hands-on, authentic, gritty teaching on things that have practical application for their daily lives — something they can sink their teeth into and go accomplish. We’re very goal-oriented: give us a worthy challenge, and we’re on it. We may be very interested in abstract, spiritual concepts, but unless it has earthly impact right here and now, it’s just not going to resonate a whole lot.
Thanks Ben for the post. Definitely food for thought!
I like hearing your perspective. I think it really is true that for many Millennials the boxy church is competing with with those other things you mentioned.
Since you’re a Millennial I’m very interested in your thoughts. Do you feel that Millennials are as interested in being entertained at church as many people think? Or do you think they’re really more interested gritty teaching? Or both?
Hint: I want the latter to be true because I’m no good at entertainment but very good at gritty teaching
