openswitch » quote

The Least of These

Ben — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:34:29 +0000

I sat in a men’s Bible study at a prominent Baptist church as a half dozen captains of industry talked about “those people.” Just the other day, a friend told me that the pastor of his old church spotted him in a restaurant and just had to regale him with how wonderfully the new building plan was going and all the millions that he’d raised. Dropped all the monetary figures just to show my friend how stupid he was to leave such a dynamic church. But my friend knew this same church split earlier because a handful of its people had the nerve to evangelize poor Hispanics. You know, dishwashers, gardeners, and garbagemen. Those people. The ones you let into your corner office to dump out your trash can, but God forbid they should aspire to anything higher. Besides, they could never get into the country club—except perhaps as the catering help.
Cerulean Sanctum

White Guilt

Ben — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:01:16 +0000

There are a number of industries that survive solely upon white guilt: Penguin Classics, the SPCA, free range chicken farms, and the entire rubber bracelet market. Yet all of these pale in comparison to classical music, which has used white guilt to exist for over a century beyond its relevance.
Stuff White People Like

Sunburn

Ben — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:50:32 +0000

Sunburns are clearly our body’s way of telling us we need to hurry up and evolve some armor plating or something.
Unknown

Dead Parrot Sketch

Ben — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:16:39 +0000

It’s not pining, it’s passed on. This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker.This is a late parrot. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies. It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Monty Python

We Want Change (Sort Of)

Ben — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:16:11 +0000

It got so bad this year that I actually tried to find out something about the Democrat candidates. No, not the only ones that were going to win the thing — the ones who would actually do something different in government. Depressingly, no candidate brings much of anything other than status quo. Well, Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul would, but they have been deemed unelectable. We all want change, as long as it’s not us that gotta do the changing.
MacStansbury

1 in 5 Athiests Believe in God

Ben — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:34:59 +0000

Another finding almost defies explanation: 21 percent of self-identified atheists said they believe in God or a universal spirit, with 8 percent “absolutely certain” of it. Jeff Archer, president of the Atheist Coalition of San Diego, was at a loss to explain how one in five atheists said they believed in God. “I find it quite preposterous that an atheist believes in God,” Archer said. “The only qualification to be an atheist is a nonbelief in God. When you take that away, then they’re not an atheist.”
The San Diego Union-Tribune

The World From Our Window: Good Argument Against Evangelical Political Causes

Ben — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:58:05 +0000

“There is a danger for those of us who live in a democracy. A danger that teaches political involvement somehow enhances the cause of the Gospel. No friends, if anything it has hindered our cause and has gotten many a pastor and congregation off course.”
The World From Our Window: Good Argument Against Evangelical Political Causes

Genesis 1

Ben — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:03:42 +0000

“Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.”
Genesis 1 - LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Stupid Games

Ben — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:02:42 +0000

“I’m losing all those stupid games I never swore I’d never play, but it almost feels OK.”
Me, quoting The Weakerthans, thinking about ministry

GPA or GPS?

Ben — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 05:13:34 +0000

“Isn’t that the little thing you put in your car that gives you directions?”
A student of mine, when asked about GPA