Ninjas Killed My Family - How to Beg Properly

ninjas-family This guy has the right idea. Seriously. If you’re gonna try to convince me to give you money by feeding me some B.S. excuse for your life’s problems I’d rather the B.S. make me smile. Be creative darn it! Don’t bring me down with crap stories about how your sister-in-law’s dog needed a heart transplant so you closed out your 401K and emptied your savings and now you’re out of a job so you don’t have money for gas. If you’re going through the trouble of making stuff up, make it good.

If I saw a guy on the street with a sign that said, “Ninjas killed my family — need money for kung-fu lessons” I’d pull out my wallet without hesitation. He’s moved from the “poor beggar” arena into the “poor comedian” arena and hell, that ninja story is creative and funny stuff, he just worked for my dollar.

Pagan Christianity

7 Comments

  1. - May 8, 2008

    Yeah, saw this a few years ago but it always makes me chuckle. =) And I agree, I’d throw this guy some money, heh.

  2. - May 9, 2008

    Admit it…you just think anything with the word ninja in it is funny.

  3. - May 9, 2008

    Or you could hire a talented backup dancer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKY2SfbnfX4

  4. - May 9, 2008

    That’s hilarious!! Did you know that there use to be a “homeless” guy not too far from you, over in Jonesboro, GA? He would walk highway 85 every weekday morning and afternoon asking for money. No one ever really noticed and/or questioned why he wasn’t there on the weekends. He wore layers of robes and had long hair and a scruffy beard. We all called him “Jesus”. Oops!! He was arrested because he wasn’t “homeless” at all. He had a weekend job and a very nice house & car. He didn’t really have long hair and a beard, and the police say that he was pretty much a millionaire!!! He would collect an average of two grand a week!!! What a scam artist!! He finally got caught thanks to the IRS. They found after nearly seven years, that his income didn’t match his lifestyle???

  5. - May 9, 2008

    @Bobbie: Yeah, it’s much more entertaining than “Black-ops killed my family” ;)

    @Yvonne: Thanks for that link! I love Mr. Bean.

    @Brad: That’s crazy. I know he’s in the minority of beggars but I wonder just how many people who ask for money truly need it.

  6. Zack
    - May 17, 2008

    No offense intended, but I think it’s debasing enough to have to ask for money. Homeless people aren’t clowns here to entertain us, they’re human beings in a situation we really can’t image. I give money becuase someone needs it, not because they made me lolcat.

  7. - May 17, 2008

    @Zack: no offense taken ;). Good thoughts.

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